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2015 Sports New Year’s Resolutions

Here’s hoping Johnny is in the headlines for football more than partying./ Erik Daniel Drost
Here’s hoping Johnny is in the headlines for football more than partying./ Erik Daniel Drost

My New Years resolution? Watch more sports.

It’s finally 2015! And that means everyone is making New Year’s resolutions. Just like you, athletes and franchises have been coming up with resolutions to make 2015 their best year. I have some suggestions for some of the biggest names in professional sports and what they should look to improve upon to make everyone forget about their 2014.

Johnny Manziel: “Spend more time playing football than partying.”

Johnny Manziel is famous for two things: his unquenchable thirst to party, and his incredible talent on the football field. In that order. Our boy, Johnny Football, didn’t exactly have the greatest 2014, as he: a) was drafted by the Cleveland Browns b) sat on the bench for most of the year behind NFL legend Brian Hoyer c) hurt himself after just two games as a starter. Manziel was criticized heavily for his constant partying, so maybe this is the year that Johnny gets things in order, and spends more time on the field than in the bar.

Saskatchewan Roughriders: “Find a backup quarterback who hasn’t recently celebrated his 40th birthday.”

No one loves Kerry Joseph more than me, but I also like winning football games and a man who had just hit the young age of 41 isn’t the man to do that. The Riders negligence towards the backup quarterback position became apparent when Darian Durant went down for the season, and the team suffered for it. No more of CFL legend Tino Sunseri, Kerry Joseph, Seth Doege or Keith Price. Find someone who won’t instantly lose us a playoff game as soon as he steps on the field.

LeBron James: “Find a team, and stick with it.”

Everyone’s favourite egotistical superstar made his return to his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers after being in South Beach for the past four years and it has been a train wreck. The Cavs are currently in the middle of the pack in the awful Eastern Conference, and seem on the verge of implosion thanks to lack of chemistry between the new “Big Three” and head coach David Blatt. Also, how about that “Together” Nike commercial LeBron made before the start of the NBA season? Rumours are swirling that LeBron could end up leaving Cleveland again if things don’t turn around soon. Get your popcorn ready folks, because this is going to get worse before it gets better.

Roger Goodell: “Clean up my league, the NFL.”

Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, Ray McDonald, Greg Hardy, Jonathan Dwyer. All names the NFL would like to sweep under the rug and remove from everyone’s memories after their messy 2014. Roger Goodell has a pandemic on his hands with the culture of violence that is engulfing his NFL and he needs to act. Maybe Roger will admit his responsibility in helping to create these messes. Or maybe he’ll just keep doing things the same and let the NFL’s cash flow drown out the cries for change.

Edmonton Oilers: “Avoid getting the first overall pick for the fourth time in seven years.”

It’s been a rough couple years… maybe more like a rough decade, for the poor Oilers. Talent keeps flowing into this organization, but nothing ever seems to come from it. And now the Oilers are on track to take home another first overall pick in the 2015 NHL draft, as they are currently last place in the NHL in points. I could say they should tear everything down and start anew, but there’s nothing to tear down. Some teams are just destined to endlessly suffer in futility. *Cut to Cleveland Browns fans nodding in approval. It’s looking like another year of agony for Oilers fans.

The Carillon also tackled New Years resolutions as it relates to the new semester. Don’t dread it folks, let’s be positive!

About Matt Wincherauk