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The worst places to eat on campus

eating on campus is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach  by brett nielsen
eating on campus is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach
by brett nielsen

The gross reality of campus eating

Who likes to eat on campus at the University of Regina? Not me! Why? Because most of the food offered is rank and unhealthy. With that said, I give you the worst places to eat on campus. Enjoy!

BYOB: If you enjoy building your own fattening, greasy burger with salty fries on the side, then this is the place for you. I, on the other hand, think this place is revolting. It goes against all things healthy. BYOB hasn’t been at the U of R too terribly long. Did the U of R choose the healthy route? No! They chose to put in a burger place, probably to fatten up all the students for their imminent academic slaughter.

TOSS Asian Stir Fry: Probably the healthiest food substance out there. Not! Let’s be real here. Canadianized Asian cuisine typically has high levels of MSG in it. MSG is not good for the bod. Therefore, TOSS (assuming TOSS uses MSG, which their site does not refute), does not sell healthy food either. Plus, the stir-fry tastes sub-par at best. Bathed in God-knows-what, the noodles cling to each other and scream at the person about to eat them, “Please, don’t eat us! We will clog your arteries and send you into cardiac arrest!” Now, folks, it is ultimately your choice whether or not to listen to the noodles’ screams. I strongly suggest taking their advice.

Common Ground: I don’t even know why this place sells food. Yes, Common Ground kicks butt with coffee, but seriously, it sells the same food sold at the North Res C-store. Way to be original! Plus, the food is grossly overpriced. Like, come on! At least cater to your audience: broke university students who really do not want to pay four dollars for an effing yogurt cup. And breakfast sandwiches all day? Really? How long do those even sit there? Excuse me while I puke a little. Even Tim Horton’s doesn’t serve breakfast all day!

North Res C-Store: Huzzah! Another over-priced place to eat on campus that sells garbage, including the same breakfast sandwiches sold at Common Ground. Yum. The coffee sucks, and the food is basically all high fat and high sugar (except for the salads, of course, but those cost four dollars). This lovely C-Store also offers zero variety for food. They sell the same things day after day after day after day after… well, you get the picture. To the poor res students who eat here a lot, I pity you. I was once in your shoes, and I eventually began to hate life from shoving mounds of C-Store crap into my mouth on a daily basis.

Soup Emporium & Salad Bar: Not going to lie, the soup and salad bar isn’t that bad. I actually quite enjoy eating here, minus the fact that this place burns a hole in my wallet. But, what’s across from the soup and salad bar? *cue daunting music* Cardboard. Oh, wait. Sorry. I mistook the pizza for cardboard. Mmmmmm cardboard pizza. Can’t get much better than that, right? Wrong! Flavourless, soulless, cardboard = crap… or rats. Who knows how many rats took a dump in that pizza before Chartwells put it on the shelf.

Well, there ya have it, people: the worst places to eat on campus. Now, what can we learn from this article? Go buy some groceries, make your lunch at home, and bring that to school to eat. There is no sense in wasting money on awful food at the U of R.

 

About Destiny Kaus

Former carillon production manager/arts editor/arts writer.