author: john loeppky | editor in chief
On to the playoffs with another season in the books
The University of Regina’s non-academic All-Canadians are staging a revolt after 71 of their athletic comrades managed to receive the distinguished honour of shrugging the shackles of intelligence perception that come with pulling on a jersey for a U Sport team. No athlete is ever happy when they are academically outperformed by their teammates and some want the dumb-athlete stereotype to stay true.
In order to fight against the idea that athletes are capable of stringing two (and sometimes three) sentences together, they have decided to boycott all of their classes and leave the Cougars and Rams and let them rot. One benchwarmer is leading the charge, Jimmy “Shit for Brains” Williams.
“These players who think they’re special need to be taught a lesson it’s time to make the game the way it used to be, when people knew we couldn’t figure stuff out, like ever. It was so much easier when our profs just figured we’d fail. Gave me more time to lift weights and brag about myself at the bar. ”
The Cougars and Rams will be in trouble if they can’t convince players to return from their self-imposed stupidity leaves.