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And the Oscar goes to…

Look at this awesome tweet. Four for you, Mr. Cooper!
Look at this awesome tweet. Four for you, Mr. Cooper!

The Carillon critiques the Oscars (go figure)

Participants: Michael Chmielewski (editor-in-chief), Autumn McDowell (sports editor), Shaadie Musleh (business manager), Kyle Leitch (production manager)

Ellen DeGeneres as host for the Oscars: yay or nay?

MC: For sure. I love Ellen, and I think she did an awesome job, especially the most retweeted selfie ever. That was cool.

AM: I’m gonna be completely honest here, I didn’t watch the Oscars. And we’re talking like not even five minutes of it. Not even long enough to be envious of the perfect makeup and fabulous gowns that I will never be able to afford. But I love Dori, and Ellen is Dori, so I love Ellen as the Oscars host.

SM: Mhey- The perfect flavour of vanilla to ensure that the Oscars does not use this ridiculous platform to actually say something relevant to the world they occasionally participate in when a new movie is released…or when someone downloads one.

KL: I don’t think the host matters, as whoever it is probably won’t win an Academy Award for anything ever again. It’s the duty they give you when Hollywood is trying to put you out to pasture. In other news: yay for giving Billy Crystal the year off.

Should poor Leonardo DiCaprio have won an Oscar?

MC: He’s still got 30 years of acting ahead of him. He’s going to get an Oscar. If you tell me when I’m 50 that DiCaprio hasn’t won an Oscar, I’ll eat my hat.

AM: On the one hand, it would really suck to be nominated all of those times only to be disappointed by coming home empty handed. But then I would take one look in the mirror, see my handsome face, my smoking hot wife, count my money inside of my mansion, take a spin in one of my twenty unreal whips, and for some reason, I think I would be at peace with my life, even without an Oscar.

SM: No. Always a bridesmaid and never the bride. Did not deserve to win this one – McConaughey earned it I guess. The Academy is making up for the snub he suffered for his role in Dazed and Confused.

KL: At this point in his career, I don’t think he needs it. He’s already established himself as an “A” guy. The sting of rejection’s still got to hurt a little bit, though. In other news: boo Matthew McConaughey.

What do you think of 12 Years a Slave winning best picture?

MC: Made me realize I need to go see it.

AM: Okay, so I hadn’t even heard of this movie until last night, literally. And it wasn’t even because of the Oscars, one of my friends brought it up to me and I was too embarrassed to say that I had no clue what they were talking about. It’s hockey season, okay? Don’t be mad at me.

SM: Happy that this movie is recognized as a glimpse into the history of slavery in the US. Still unhappy that this type of important history is only relegated to a minor part of the school system (US and Canada both). One month per year is not enough to discuss and teach our history, especially within the context of our current societal make up.

KL: The Academy had a golden opportunity to give either Django Unchained or Lincoln the Oscar last year to make way for 12 Years a Slave this year. But instead, they blew their load on Argo, the American whitewash of Canadian history directed by Batdick, Ben Affleck. In other news: Ben Affleck is still awful.

Overall, what’s your verdict on the 86th Oscars?

MC: I was more into it this year. For some reason, it was more exciting this year. Also, did Rob Ford actually make it out?

AM: I’m going to go ahead and assume that they were awesome, was a bragging show as per usual for all of Hollywood and an excuse for everyone to go out and buy some snacks and sit in front of the TV for hours without being judged by anyone.

SM: This is the awards ceremony that Hollywood gives itself for being Hollywood. It is the awards show we deserve, not the one we need.

KL: One picture tends to dominate all the technical awards, people cry and mention Jesus unnecessarily, and there’s a lot of drunken chicanery and extravagance abound. Holy shit: the Oscars are the living embodiment of the Great Gatsby. Well done, Academy. In other news: #INAOscars2014 didn’t take off like I’d planned. Oh well.

Image: Bradley Cooper

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