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Warp movie titles to your heart’s content Authors: John Loeppky and the Carillon staff, who are all now Hollywood writers Following TV show @Midnight’s lead, below are a number of (slightly altered) movie titles. Would you watch any of the following? The Sound of Elevator Music Dear John McEnroe  Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Admirers Surgically Inside Llewyn Davis The LEGO Movie: Uncensored The Hollywood Expendables America’s Muppets Most Wanted Non-Subsidized Daddy Daycare ...

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UR Controversy

It’s Truly Lovely Here Author: Farron Ager, Headmaster Emeritus of The Drinking Academy Sung to the Tune of “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” By Crash Test Dummies Once there was these two who Kept charging so much overtime over a whole decade But when the campus found out They kept it from the province for a year They couldn’t quite explain it They’d always keep paying them Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Once ...

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Humour – Gormley is love

by Farron Ager – Oped Editor t came to the attention of the Carillon that John Gormley, award-winning glorious supreme leader of radio and all-around handsome chap, was met with fierce protestors when he came to the university to give a talk on his new book “I’m Right and You Know It.” After a truly harrowing experience at the hands of three assailants, Mr. Gormley successfully subdued the ringleader of this insidious crew and continued ...

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Shit the Carillon says

Actual conversations heard around the office by the Staff wo things are certain at the Carillon: hate mail and production night. As usual, we’ve collected some more snippets from conversations heard around the office to enlighten our dear readership of how messed up of individuals we truly are. Dive into another edition of Shit the Carillon says! Noticing a Youtube ad: Why is there mormon.org advertising on my video? Worst yet, why does it look ...

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