author: annie trussler | op-ed editor
The guy flooded all of earth like shaking an etch-a-sketch.
I have always been hopelessly devoted to science. While I may not understand the inner workings of more complicated scientific fields, the fact that some people do charms and intrigues me. If, for all the mysteries in the universe, there is just one scientist pursuing its end, I can live and die content.
For as long as I can recall, I lived in a scientifically sound home. My parents vehemently instilled rationality into my belief system from day one. As human beings, we are held to the earth by gravity, we know that the universe is constantly unfolding, and we know the ozone is thinning thanks to climate change. I have just known never to question such things, and as the globe is being swept with natural disasters, I continue to know these things.
I find it tedious to preach about climate change, as the environment seems to be doing a half decent job for me. Frankly, for all the horrors we have loosed upon the earth, this feels more like karma than anything. It isn’t as though I hope to die via super-tornado, but if I do, I probably had it coming. We probably all did.
Despite the world slowly CTRL+ALT+DELETING itself, there are (always) far-right Christians who are quick to hop on the “this is God’s will” ark, which I personally find pretty funny, and just a little more than disheartening. Even when the weather, the literal climate itself, points neon arrows at science, Orthodox Christianity refuses to buy it.
I could spend the rest of my life calmly, or not so calmly, arguing with the members of staunch Christianity – almost nothing would please me more; however, I only have so much time, they only have so many Bibles, and the Earth only has so much patience.
There is something to appreciate amid all this madness. There are few unfailing things in this world, but one of my personal favorites is the relentless denial perpetuated by the middle-aged Christian Facebook demographic. God could literally walk down his golden staircase and announce global warming through a loudspeaker, and somehow Linda would still be sharing memes about preparing for Jesus.
If the Rapture were to come, it sure as Hell would not come in the form of Kim Jong Un’s bad hair cut and a few earthquakes. I like to believe God has a little more theatrical integrity than that. The guy flooded all of earth like shaking an etch-a-sketch. The whole earth! Because he was bored of his first draft!
I’m not a Christian by any stretch of the imagination, but if I were, I would hopefully give the big guy credit where credit is due. The dude is without a doubt the cruellest S.O.B. in the history of literature.
“Hey, man, kill your son.”
“‘Cause I said.”
There are zero universes where someone even remotely benevolent says “bet” to someone after they profess their faith.
I’ll admit this article took a bit of a turn, but my original message stands true: this international gong show is not the product of anyone in the sky, but instead the passive-aggression of the sky itself. It’s time for us, as the human race, to take responsibility for the shit we put out into the ether. We have polluted, beaten, and destroyed the natural world for as long as we’ve existed, and it’s about time we face the consequences.
Recycle. Take your goddamn bike. Don’t litter. For the love of God, don’t idle your car. It’s literally the least we can do.