author: marty scriver | contributor
A stunner of a dildo. A gosh-darn of a doinker.
Imagine this: you’re walking across the campus green with your clique, catching up after four months of summer vacation. The sun is shining, the leaves are turning to autumn hues, and you have your favourite caffeinated drink in your hand. Then you see it. A student ahead of you on the sidewalk has the distinct shape of a gun in their pocket. You suddenly feel your stomach twist into knots, and your mouth tastes sour. You want to duck into the nearest building, out of this student’s line of sight, and into safety. You don’t know what this student is capable of doing with that gun.
Now, imagine this: it’s the same scenario, except the student wields not a gun, but a big ol’ dong. A stunner of a dildo. A gosh-darn of a doinker. You aren’t feeling sick; no, quite the opposite. You and your best friends have a laugh before walking away, continuing to enjoy campus on this beautiful day. You feel no danger, no need to duck-and-cover, for it is just another student having some harmless fun.
What’s so frightening about dildos to the lawmakers and law-enforcers of Texas?”
At the University of Texas (UT) in Austin, both scenarios are feasible, but only the first situation is legal. No, really! According to a new state “campus carry” law, students with the correct licensing may carry a concealed handgun with them at their university. The logic behind this law, from my understanding, is as follows: if somebody decides to start shooting up UT, then a bunch of gun-toting students can start popping caps right back. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Right?
The second scenario, in which you and your buddies get a glimpse of faux phallus, can result in a $500 fine for the dong-wielding student. This is because UT and the state of Texas have an anti-obscenity law. If someone becomes offended or alarmed by the student’s dildo, for example, it’s a misdemeanour in Texas. Although the gun would be exponentially more alarming than a fake wiener to see, under the campus carry law, the firearm is okay!
This is where the “Cocks Not Glocks” campaign comes in. UT students, alumni, faculty, staff, and even the public have come together to protest the campus carry law by displaying dongs wherever they can at the university. Their slogan is “Fighting absurdity with absurdity.” They have t-shirts, buttons, mugs, stickers, and more; they hold gatherings at UT; they encourage other campuses with similar handgun laws to join in; and most importantly, the “Cocks Not Glocks” campaign is talking to the media and helping their movement go viral (more information can be found online at cocksnotglocks.org).
I have to wonder, what’s so frightening about dildos to the lawmakers and law-enforcers of Texas? People of all kinds of genders have the real thing chilling in their pants. A penis is not something a person can avoid seeing for an entire lifetime. It’s natural. It’s not inherently scary. Sure, the feminist part of me knows that the phallus is a symbol of power; the campus carry law protesters become wielders of this power when they pick up their floppy dongs and call for “Cocks Not Glocks.” A dildo in one’s hand will not kill anybody, which means this obscenity misdemeanour is not a priority to enforce.
Yet a gun in one’s hand can easily kill. That’s the big difference here, and why the “Cocks Not Glocks” message is so compelling. I cannot imagine the feeling of being a student at UT, knowing that I will often be in the same room as a person with a lethal weapon. It would be a source of both stress and anxiety, and a distraction from learning, too. I come to a university to better myself and to learn; I would not accomplish my goals if I came every weekday to a campus where I would fear for my life. This is now reality for many University of Texas students.
I can understand the power of the “Cocks Not Glocks” campaign. It’s a multifaceted, creative, and a hell of a catchy way to spread awareness of the campus carry law. Texas isn’t the first state to allow concealed handguns on campus. It’s the eighth. Hopefully, this protest encourages law-makers in other parts of the US to think twice before passing a campus carry law – and also importantly, Cocks Not Glocks sends a message of solidarity to students who are uncomfortable going to institutes with this law. Dicks out for #CocksNotGlocks!