I'm Not Angry
I have a confession to make: the longer I spent at the Canadian University Press Conference in Toronto – AKA the happiest place on earth – the less I found irritated me. Not people, not crowds, not even paying HST on everything. Indeed, I felt I was in danger of mellowing out entirely. It wasn’t until I took a fateful elevator ride that the rageohol came flowing freely. A friendly news ticker on a TV in aforementioned elevator informed me that Zero Dark Thirty had been snubbed from the Oscars for the ever-ambiguous “political reasons.”
“The Oscars?!” I proclaimed to the empty elevator. “Ye Gods, is it that time of the year?!” I dashed through the hotel lobby to find a computer. I kicked a nearby patron off, apologized to their grandmother via Skype, and hit the information superhighway like a bat out of hell. Indeed, all of the Oscar nominations were out. Furthermore, the Critic’s Choice Awards had already given out their awards, naming Argo the best film of the year.
“What kind of motherfuckery is this?” I asked the fuming ex-computer patron next to me. I feel that I’ve carved out a pretty prolific reign as the curator of film at the Carillon. I think that I’ve played my role of judge, jury, and executioner of standard Hollywood tripe with aplomb over the course of the last two years. Yet my clear expertise and ability to see through sophomore filmmaking whose only goal is to attain a small bronze statue of a naked dude has been ignored. My opinions may not always be the popular consensus, but I would think that the dinosaurs at the Academy and at the Critic’s Choice would be looking to secure a younger demographic, anyway. It worked out fine with Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes, didn’t it?
Over the course of the ten-hour annual general meeting at the conference, I got bored enough to actually start myself a Twitter account (@theleitchtweets – hooray for shameless plugs!). So, here’s my proposition: if you would like integrity, class, and a touch of free floating hostility brought to the Academy Awards or the Critic’s Choice Awards next year, mobilize yourselves on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, et cetera with the hashtag #INAoscars2014. If the veritable army of social media users on this planet can cause a massive upheaval of totalitarian regimes as we saw with the Arab Spring, then certainly it can spare some of that influence to secure Kyle Leitch a rightful spot on the jury’s panel for some of the finest film awards ceremonies in recorded human history. Come on, you moral internet crusaders! Together, we can ensure that films like Django Unchained and Zero Dark Thirty (I guess) are never robbed of their potential for awards greatness!
And to the ladies and gentlemen of the Academy and the Critic’s Choice, I have a very special message: I’m not angry. Honest.
Photo by Julia Dima