author: kristian ferguson | news editor
Still leakin‘ / john loeppky
From shame comes change
Leak of the week is a semi-regular section in which we highlight leaks around the university. Former news editor, Taylor MacPherson (EIC’s note:ow of the Gormley show, oh how the mighty have fallen), started this series in 2015.
Location: Lower floor of Visual Arts.
Nickname(s): ‘Ol Crudey. The Siphon.
Apparatus: Old bleach jug into a rubber hose, dangling gracefully into an oil drum. This is a similar setup that large scale gas thieves or a particularly underequipped farmer might find themselves in. Nothing but the best used oil drums for our university.
Capacity: Roughly 200 litres.
Number of people working on it: Zero, but the U.S. has shown interest in supplanting our president via coup for it.
Mold/Mildew: Likely, but hard to detect next to the overwhelming smell of petrol.
Age: 140 million years coating the edges of a few–weeks-old drip.
Has it been fixed yet: Unfixed until they can install the pumphorse.
Impact on students: A burden and hard to work around. Costs roughly $1000, or a court case, to find out where the oil drum came from. The university will also say that they’re not revealing where the drum came from is to protect academic freedom.
“They wouldn’t fund my sculpture unless it had an ad for the Trans-Mountain Pipeline at the base.”
“We’ve been seeing a sudden increase in oil-paints getting into our watercolours but admin just keeps telling us its safer than railways and leaving really quickly.”
“Is this why the elevator hates disabled people?”
If you know of any leaks on campus, or other examples of failing infrastructure that the university should be ashamed of, please contact email@example.com.