Leak of the Week
… Because shame leads to change.
As part of our ongoing efforts to highlight the crumbling infrastructure at the University of Regina, the Carillon proudly presents the tenth part of our Leak of the Week feature, in which we bring you the vital stats on the different failing roofs around campus. Can you believe we’ve actually done ten of these things?
Location: This slightly difficult-to-find leak is in the North Residence Tower, right in the middle of a designated fire-escape route. That way when you’re evacuating during one of the residence towers’ impromptu 3 a.m. fire drills, you can trip over this leak, smack your head against the concrete wall, and goddamned die.
Nickname(s): “The Fire Hose”
Apparatus: This leak is serviced by the classic trifecta of bucket, hose, and tarp. The great thing about this design is that during the winter months when leaks are slowed by freezing temperatures, maintenance staff can ignore these leaks completely, allowing an inch or so of mold to build up in the bottom of the bucket. If you’re going to defer maintenance, you might as well go all the way with it, right?
Number of people working on it: None.
Mold/Mildew: Yes. So much.
Age: This leak has actually sprung up in the last two months. We tried to get a biology grad-student to take a core sample of the mold in the bucket and come up with a more accurate date, but they declined, stating the project would be “gross.”
Current status: Shameful.
Has it been fixed yet: No.
Impact on students: Of all the leaks we’ve covered (there have been ten), this fire-exit blocking leak is the first one that actually has the potential to kill students en masse. Wouldn’t it be ironic if you got tangled up in a leak only to burn to death?
Student comment(s): “I paid money to live in this building.”
“If there’s a fire, that’s legitimately dangerous. No, not the leak – I’m talking about packing sixty students into those tiny little classrooms. Wait, what leak?”
“Hey man, get away from us. We’re in this stairwell to smoke weed, not to give you quotes about building maintenance.”
If you know of any leaks on campus, or other examples of failing infrastructure that the University should be ashamed of, please contact email@example.com.