Leak of the week
… Because shame leads to change.
As part of our ongoing efforts to highlight the crumbling infrastructure at the University of Regina, the Carillon proudly presents the eleventh part of our Leak of the Week feature, in which we bring you the vital stats on the different failing roofs around campus.
Location: This leak is located on the third floor of the Archer Library, the first leak to noticeably permeate the most water-damageable building on campus. It also comes just in time to coincide with our annual literary supplement, which may be coincidental or some shadowy vandal’s subtle idea of irony.
Nickname(s): A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean, Watership Down by Richard Adams, The Plumbers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, In Search of Lost Water-Pressure by Marcel Proust, Don Luixote by Miguel de Cervantes, Moby Drip by Herman Melville, Loleaka by Vladimir Nabokov, Catch-22 Drops by Joseph Heller, Leaks of Grass by Walt Whitman, The Rain Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, and of course A Portrait of the Student as a Damp Man by James Joyce.
Apparatus: The leak-prevention system currently in place is threefold: First, plastic sheeting has been draped artfully over the shelves directly under the leak, protecting Lexicon Platonicum (Volumes 1-3) from any further damage, but screwing over students trying to access the affected sections. Second, a single ceiling tile has been removed, allowing the accumulated mold spores in the dropped ceiling space to escape and spread throughout the building. Third, in a token attempt to give the impression of action, a ladder, garbage bag, and office-style garbage can have been placed adjacent to the leak. That should take care of it.
Number of people working on it: None.
Mold/Mildew: Yes. The ceiling tiles surrounding this leak are brown with mildew, and the Carillon can confirm that it’s hella gross.
Age: This leak is that perfect age where it’s old enough to have started doing structural damage, but new enough that nobody has to bother doing anything about it yet. Among maintenance staff, this is apparently called the “sweet spot.”
Current status: Shameful.
Has it been fixed yet: No.
Impact on students: This leak is fairly out of the way, unless you’re in need of a hard copy of Jubien’s Ontology, Modality, and the Fallacy of Reference, or any of the other thrilling tomes located between B72M and B739. The fact that a leak in the roof of the campus’ largest library was not immediately fixed is probably more concerning than the leak itself.
Student comment(s): “It’s hard to read with that constant dripping… and the smell of mold… and the water-damaged books… and the books I need are under a plastic sheet…”
“I don’t pay $15,000 a year to study in a goddamned swamp. I was trying to research sociology of gender but I would up with malaria and leech-bites.”
“Do you mind? We’re in the library to have sex, not answer questions about building maintenance.”
If you know of any leaks on campus, or other examples of failing infrastructure that the University should be ashamed of, please contact email@example.com.