Leak(s) of the week
… because shame leads to change.
As part of our ongoing efforts to highlight the crumbling infrastructure at the University of Regina, the Carillon proudly presents the fifth part in our “Leak of the Week” feature, bringing you the vital stats on the different failing roofs around campus.
Location: Located in the Stavrinides Laboratory on the fourth floor of the Lab Building, the location of these leaks was chosen because the lab is restricted to authorized researchers only.
“Our top researchers deserve our top leaks,” said a source deep inside U of R administration. “The STEML fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math, and Leaks) are important to the University, so we chose to surround our researchers with leaks 24/7.”
Nickname(s): “The Hydra” (… Get it? Ugh, just look it up.)
Apparatus: The leaks in the Stavrinides Laboratory represent a sampler-pack of various leak configurations. According to John Stavrinides, “In addition to images of the three catheters hanging from the ceilings [there is damage present]… including holes. In one [incident], the water was coming through the fluorescent light, and the catheter was installed to catch the water before it flowed to the light.”
Real Talk: In his email to the Carillon, Prof. Stavrinides noted that Facilities Management has been doing their best with the leaks.
“I need to be clear that FM has responded quickly to all reports we’ve made, and they have made many attempts to repair the roof. At one point, they even removed all the gravel and patched the holes in the roof membrane that they could find, although they were never certain if they actually identified the precise spot where the water is seeping through.
“I want to be certain that the guys on the front lines are not accused of not trying. I think they do their absolute best with what they’re given. Of course, if the administration hadn’t wasted millions of dollars on useless campus aesthetics, some of these issues could have been resolved.”
Age: Unknown. We tried to use the lab for carbon-dating, but the leaks kept getting in the way and soaking all the equipment.
Has it been fixed yet: No (but not for lack of trying).
Current status: Shameful.
Impact on students: While most students are not allowed into the Stavrinides Laboratory, it is important that young science students realize that if they work hard enough, they will someday get to work in a leak-riddled laboratory with a top research team, and waterlogged equipment. Dream big, kids!
Student comment: “This is bullshit. The science researchers get all the leaks, but the arts libraries barely have any! We deserve to get dripped on just as much as those biology nerds. It’s just another example of the STEML fields getting preferential treatment, I guess…”
If you know of any leaks on campus, or other examples of failing infrastructure that the university should be ashamed of, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org.