The Carillon, the voice of the voiceless of the U of R
Authors: matt wincherauk, john loeppky, kyle leitch, suzanne barber, brady lang – disgruntled employees
1. The Rams lost their playoff matchup vs. the Dinos this weekend, 56-0. Focusing on the positives, what was your favourite Rams moment from this past season?
Wincherauk: Well, there’s a lot to be happy with at the end of the season, despite the massive blowout. The Rams have a great foundation with QB Noah Picton and RB Atlee Simon. Those two are the building blocks for some legitimate future success at the U of R.
Loeppky: My favourite part of this season was watching both quarterbacks mature. With Noah Picton behind centre, the future looks bright for the U of R’s gridiron representation.
Leitch: I really liked that moment when everyone in the Rams’ locker room got pissed off when I told them what not to do, then they did the opposite of what I said, and fell flat on their asses. Those are special memories.
Barber: My favorite moment of the season was really just watching Picton win CIS Offensive Player of the Week for two consecutive weeks. The fact that he’s so young and doing well shows a lot of promise for the future of the Rams.
Lang: Daniella’s guarantee in week two vs. Manitoba. The Curse of the Zemlak?
2. The CFL is finally in the home stretch and the Riders have limped into the playoffs. How do you think the Riders Finish, and who’s your Grey Cup winner?
Wincherauk: I’m sorry to say this, Riders fans… But it’s not happening. Not if someone like CFL Legend Tino Sunseri has to play. Even with Durant, this team is a long shot to win. My pick to win will hurt you even more… The Calgary Stampeders will be your 2014 Grey Cup champions.
Loeppky: I agree with Matty, the Grey Cup will be travelling to southern Alberta this year. The chances of the Riders winning are about as high as my odds to win a baseball argument in the office.
Leitch: Honestly, my dad has been talking about this one for years. We have the distinct possibility of seeing a BC vs. SK Grey Cup in Vancouver this year. I think the universe would implode if that were the final.
Barber: Quite honestly, I am sick of hearing about the Riders. I’ll definitely tune in for the Grey Cup, but at this point, I don’t much care who is in it.
Lang: If Durant comes back, the Riders get to the Grey Cup. Edmonton is depleted; Calgary sucks when it comes to November. Hamilton will be back in the Grey Cup because they simply cannot lose at home. A back-to-back championship for the green and white.
3. Most people’s fantasy football teams are currently dead in the water. How is your team doing? Is a league championship within sight?
Wincherauk: My teams are god-awful. Like, among the very worst you might find. Let’s just say, I’m well on my way to a #1 pick next draft. At least I didn’t draft Ray Rice.
Loeppky: Considering I have routinely started a kicker who has been suspended or out of work for most of the year (Matt Prater) I think it is safe to assume that the number of fucks I give about fantasy sports this year is equal to the number of marathons I have run in my life.
Leitch: Ask Brady if I even have a fantasy football team. Honestly, I’m more interested in the leftover fantasy NHL team that I had thrust upon me that, as of this writing, isn’t in dead last.
Barber: Dead in the water?! Far from it! I am actually in first place in my league at 8-1. These last two bye weeks have been tough on me, though.
Lang: I’m beating contributor Britton Gray, so life’s good still. Wincherauk, you’re next, I’m comin’ for the ‘ship.
4. The University of Regina Women’s Hockey team is rolling right now, winning four of their past five at time of writing. What are your expectations for the girls the rest of the season?
Wincherauk: I’m not sure lightning can strike twice, but these girls look like they’re primed for another deep run into the CIS playoffs. Why not them?
Loeppky: I think they should consider replacing their male equivalents and play in both leagues at the same time.
Leitch: Called it. There was no reason the women’s hockey team wouldn’t be able to replicate their wild success from last season.
Barber: I think the ladies will continue to be successful. They obviously have a good team dynamic and a proven track record.
Lang: They’ve got their shit together. A Canada West Championship may be in the books for the ladies.
5. Bill Simmons has been very vocal against ESPN of late, sticking it to his bosses on several occasions. Which big name in the sports world would you like to tell off?
Wincherauk: I’d like to tell off Peyton Manning. If you follow my twitter account, you’d know I have a severe dislike of “Satan” Manning and his mutant forehead. I’m not sure what I’d say, I’d probably be too full of fury to get a coherent thought out.
Loeppky: I’d love to tell off those who choose which referees get to preside over which CFL games. There is already enough Eastern bias in Canada without referees getting in on the act.
Leitch: Bill Simmons: the new voice of the voiceless. If I could tell off any big sporting name, it would probably be Pete Rose, but only for not wearing that giant chicken suit all the time.
Barber: As far as journalists go, I’m not sure. As far as players go, it would feel good to tell Phil Kessel to go have another bag of chips.
Lang: He isn’t relevant anymore, but I’d still love to tell Sean Avery off. No one says that about my future wife, Elisha Cuthbert.