Sports Roundtable

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No one likes to be singled out, but Chris Getzlaf is brutal

Braden Dupuis, Kris Klein, Autumn McDowell

With the graduation of Polish scoring sensation, Joanna Zalesiak, do you think the Cougars women’s basketball team will be as dominant this year as they have been in the past?

Dupuis: Joanna Zalesiak, Schmoanna Schmalesiak. We don’t need her Polish sausages. We’ve got plenty of our own sausages here in Canada, though there’s a chance you might get E-coli and die. If you’re eating beef sausages, that is. I’m sorry, it’s been a long week. On topic: After a near miss last year, I’m confident our girls have what it takes to bring home the sausage.

Klein: Well I have to say yes just based on what I have been taught in all of my years of organized sports: one player does not make the team. This just means that someone will have to step up and fill the shoes left by Zalesiak.

McDowell: I sure as hell hope so. Mainly because we are hosting nationals this year and I would very much enjoy being a part of the action if the team makes it to the finals. More importantly, I would like to take part in the post-game celebrations, because remember everyone, the Cougars motto is always: Win or lose, we still booze. Realistically though, they won’t be as dominant. Also, they have a habit of choking in big games. There, I said it.

Have you ever participated in intramurals at the U of R? If so, what was your experience like? If no, why not?

Dupuis: My friends play ultimate, and they seem to enjoy it, but they do have their share of “dude, chill” stories involving over-competitive assholes. If you’re not getting paid to play, you have no right to freak out like a spoiled little bitch. Sorry, but this isn’t high school, and it’s not even a real league. Grow up.  

Klein: I have participated in intramurals as a back-up goalie and playoff-leading scorer for the STD’s (Sick Toe Drags). Also I took part in two games of dodgeball where I threw out my arm, saw a girl get hit in the face and almost fought the opposite team, so I figured it was time to retire right there.

McDowell: No, I never have. I hate it when people take intramurals too seriously and try to live out their high school days when they were somewhat decent at sports. However, if I were to play, I would gladly join flag football. I was a quarterback on my co-ed touch team, and also scored the first touchdown of the season as a receiver. It’s my claim to fame. Put me in coach.

Which Saskatchewan Roughriders player have you been the most disappointed with this season?

Dupuis: It’s hard to be negative about anybody when the team’s been playing so well lately, but if I had to pick someone, it would probably be Chris Getzlaf. In the past few years he’s been pretty clutch, but I feel like I haven’t seen as much of him this season.

Klein: I have to say safety, James Patrick, has been the biggest disappointment to me this season. No picks and only 27 tackles to his name this year. In the games that I have watched and haven’t been drunk at, he has just been invisible. Hopefully he can come around and help the Riders win the Grey Cup this year.

McDowell: Well this is a no brainer, fucking Chris Getzlaf. Seriously, I originally thought he just had a bad case of the butterfingers, then it progressed into the dropsies and now he just plain sucks. I’m quite confident that I am a more sure-handed receiver than Getzlaf. Seriously, I would cut him. The only way he can stay is if his face is put on a box of Butterfingers. I always knew Ryan was the cooler Getzlaf brother anyway.

How much do you follow Major League Baseball? If you do follow the league (or even if you don’t), which team are you cheering for in the post-season?

Dupuis: Full disclosure: I fucking hate baseball. I enjoyed watching the ‘04 Red Sox come back against the Yankees, but for the 162 games leading up to the postseason – and most that follow – I could not give half a shit. Fuck you, baseball. Take your over-paid, boring-ass, no-contact sport and shove it up your ass.

Klein: I follow a little bit in regards to baseball also known as the Blow Jays – sorry – Blue Jays. Once again the Jays aren’t in the playoffs, I guess I’m cheering for anyone but the Yankees. I’m just tired of seeing them “buy” a World Series almost every year. Why not let the Blue Jays win for a change?

McDowell: Well, with my beloved NHL still stuck in a lockout I have taken a gander at playoff baseball. To be honest, I am a Jays fan, so I have never seen playoff baseball before but I have to admit it’s not as long and boring as I had originally predicted. May I just say that the Yankees are overrated and that Cardinals team is one hot piece of ace.

With the NHL still on lockout, how do you plan to get your “hockey fix” this winter?

Dupuis:  At this point, I can’t even bring myself to think about it anymore. It’s just one more shit stain on the great, shitty pair of underwear that is my mid-semester life. If you’re sensing some bitterness in this week’s roundtable, it’s because school has effectively drained my spirit, bank account, and will to live. And there’s no end in sight.

Klein: I’ll probably be watching a lot of the Regina Pats until the World Juniors. Or maybe I’ll watch the KHL. Also playing adult safe this winter will help. If you want to watch good hockey, come out and watch the Regina Mighty Ducks take on the rest of the adult-safe D division. It’s free corn dog night next game of the season.

McDowell: I honestly don’t know what to do with myself at this point. Obviously, I have been following the dub, but I follow them every year. I have tried to take a look at the KHL and the AHL but it just isn’t the same. Everyone is so spread out that keeping tabs on my boys has become increasingly difficult. I suppose with all this extra time on my hands, maybe I can finally learn to stop on skates.

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