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Sports Roundtable

Weird that there isn't an angry Ravens fan behind him.../ David Fulmer
Weird that there isn’t an angry Ravens fan behind him…/ David Fulmer

Authors:
john loeppky – sports editor

john kapp – a & c editor

destiny kaus – production manager

kristian ferguson – sports writer

matt wincherauk – editor-in-chief

  1. With this past weekend being the Oscars, which athlete do you think did the best job when they traded their sporting footwear for a role on the big screen? Alternatively, who do you think is the best actor (read: flopper) in sports?

JL: He doesn’t play anymore, but Raja Bell. He once said that he wasn’t flopping, just exaggerating a call that should be made. Whatever the case, he gets my vote for being the mortal enemy of Kobe Bryant. In terms of actors, I’m picking Jesus Shuttlesworth himself, Ray Allen. Side note: did you know Allen Iverson was meant to play the role but declined it because it was going to be “his first summer with money,”? You can’t make this stuff up.

MW: Andre the Giant. Screw anybody who doesn’t think that he wasn’t an athlete being a professional wrestler. He’s only well known for his role in “The Princess Bride,” but he was fantastic in it. “Anybody want a peanut?”

DK: What the actual *bleeeeeeep* are you talking about? Like Michael B. Jordan who played Adonis Creed in Creed? Or are you talking about athletes who acted in movies? Either way, I have no opinion, but I really don’t care, and I honestly have no idea what’s going on right now.

KF: The best actor in sports is obviously Dwayne Johnson. His acting is sub-par at best, but anything that keeps the greatest heel wrestling has ever witnessed in the public eye is something I think is worth supporting.

JK: Terry Bradshaw. An excellent quarterback and (not) star of The Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit II. My earliest memories of Bradshaw: the actor was his voice-acting role in King of the Hill, one of my favourite television shows.

 

  1. Both basketball teams will be competing this upcoming weekend. What do you think this recent success means for both programs?

MW: The U of R basketball programs always do quite well recruiting from the US and other parts of Canada, so this success should only add to their quality of recruiting. Being a university athletics program, recruiting is probably the biggest thing that a university program faces every year.

JK: Seems to indicate they’re doing quite well. Good for them!

DK: I think it’s pretty dang awesome! It’s always good to see varsity teams kicking butt after years of doing the opposite. I think their success adds a lot of hype to the school. I mean, I’m pretty hyped about it. It’s always exciting to cheer on the Cougs!

KF: This is going to sound super dense but they obviously must be doing something right. Hopefully they can see what they did that worked and do more with that. If I am being a pessimist, though, this year’s success means that next year is going to suck.

JL: It means that we finally have more than one team sport to cheer for when it comes to the playoffs. Sorry women’s hockey, congratulations on the semi-final berth but in the words of Lil Bow Wow, “We’re playin’ basketball.”

 

  1. Cougar swimmer Noah Choboter won two gold medals at the national championships. Be honest, before reading that sentence what did you know about the swim team?

KF: What I know about the swim team is that they have a pool here that I have also been in.

DK: I knew that one existed…and that they can’t even practice at the U of R ‘cause the pool isn’t big enough. Lol. How unfortunate. I also know they practice at like 5am, which is death. Our softball team practices at 6:30am, and I hate the early morning. So, props to the swim team!

JK: I’ve heard of them. I know we have a pool here. Is it still closed from the pooping disease?

MW: The only thing I know about the swim team is that our current sports editor John, wrote about them last volume when I was the sports editor. Other than that, pretty much nothing. Go team!

JL: That they don’t train at the U of R pool, that they routinely send athletes to nationals, that the team looks remarkably different from year to year as athletes decide they don’t want to spend their early mornings saving themselves from drowning repeatedly, and that those gold medals were only the second and third in team history.

 

  1. Best mascot in sports, and go.

KF: Steely McBeam of Pittsburgh Steelers fame. Firstly, his name sounds like an alibi someone gives when they go to a skeezy motel to cheat on their wife and secondly, the mascot’s entire concept is its just a man who loves I-Beams.

JK: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ stadium.

JL: The Nottingham Panthers hockey team mascot from when I was growing up. He got angry and started fighting Sheffield’s representative. If we’re straying away from British ice hockey, I’m going with UGA, the University of Georgia’s live bulldog; either that or Ralphie, the University of Colorado’s live bison. Yes, a live buffalo.

DK: Definitely not the U of R’s own Reggie or that weird cow, snake, life jacket, and dog that showed up a couple weekends ago at the basketball games. I’m gonna say Gainer the Gopher… he’s the only reason I go watch Rider games… but I’m sure if there was a fluffy cat mascot out there somewhere, that’d be my fave. Cats are boss.

MW: Wally the Green Monster. Wally is a boss, and won’t take shit from all the other stupid mascots that other people might prefer. Plus, he was named after the most iconic wall in all of sports. Who else can say that? No one.

 

  1. Quiz question, why do we not have a men’s soccer team? Also, what sport, if the U of R were going to add one, do you think should be included in the realm of university-funded teams?

DK: It’s ‘cause the football team is so big. If we added a men’s soccer team, then the U of R would have to add another women’s team of some sort to make the male to female sports people ratio more even…at least that’s what I heard from some smart person who actually knows this stuff. And, I vote that all – yes all – the club teams should get funded by the U, too. A lot of us club teams actually win stuff.

JL: We don’t have a men’s soccer team to watch lose because, in order to keep the teams evenly split (gender-wise) when the Rams joined the fold, we were only gifted with a women’s soccer team. If we’re adding a team, I (rather selfishly) pick wheelchair rugby.

KF: We don’t have a men’s soccer team because we can’t be associated with those Europeans and their dumb sport that isn’t actually football. Obviously. It’s not like it’s the world’s most-played sport or anything. If I were going to add one sport, it would be Quidditch. If the University is going to waste my tuition money on signs and non-existent repairs, it might as well be wasted on something fun.

MW: I’m not sure. I really don’t care enough about soccer to pay attention. But if I had to pick a sport for the U of R to add, I would say cheese rolling. Let’s be hipsters on this one, and start the trend.

JK: It seems that there are not enough people interested in playing men’s soccer to field a team. I guess this is no good if you want to play men’s soccer, but I can’t imagine the University of Regina fielding a feared, envied, or good soccer team. As discussed in my last roundtable appearance, perhaps a bucketball team could be included. I could be coach and chief embezzler.

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