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Sports roundtable

Maybe he could write the carillon's theme song/ wikimedia commons
Maybe he could write the carillon’s theme song/ wikimedia commons

Featuring cocky athletes and program cuts

Authors:

matt wincherauk – editor-in-chief

destiny kaus – production manager

john loeppky – sports edtior

kristian ferguson – sports writer

brady lang – contributor

  1. UFC 196 was a giant ego fest. How do you feel about athletes who may take their bravado just a little too far? Are you excited by the competitor on the brink of self-indulgent destruction, or would you rather they just shut up and do their job?

BL: I love Conor McGregor. It adds entertainment value and builds excitement. McGregor is a badass and he will recover from this, but it also gives these athletes an opportunity to be in the public eye and build on their fame, opening doors like Rhonda was able to do when she was in the Entourage movie.

MW: UFC, boxing, and professional wrestling are only interesting when egos are present. You are trying to sell a confrontation, rather than sell the athleticism to the majority of fans. The average fan is only going to be interested when a fiery personality (McGregor, Tate, Sonnen) or a mega-star (Rousey, Jones, Silva) is involved. You have to play these things up to eleven, or no one will give a shit.

KF: Ego is an integral part for me in any sport, but especially combat sports like the UFC. There is nothing more fun than watching some wiener brag about how much their shit doesn’t stink, only to lose spectacularly cough Rousey cough. Similarly, it is just as fun when they win because, holy shit, they aren’t just hot air I guess.

DK: I think athletes who enjoy bragging and showing off need to take their bravado and shove it up their *bleeeeeeeeep* [Editor’s note: guess the orifice she means for five hundred points]. Whenever I see arrogant athletes outwardly expressing their self-indulgence, I want to punch them in the face, and I pray for their imminent loss. Just shut up and do your job. If you win, awesome. You can brag then, not before.
JL: I think that, in order for a high-level athlete to succeed, they must have a reasonably large ego. Even the most selfless of players have a spark within them that propels them to be great, and those same athletes wouldn’t be able to battle against the so-called haters in order to become accomplished. That said, I appreciate those humble athletes a little bit more than their counterparts. For example, if you’re a defensive back who creates a knock down, there’s no need to perform an Irish jig. Leave the celebrations to after the final whistle, at a time when they are actually deserved.

  1. If you were going to cut one Cougar’s sports team, which one would you pick?

KF: Swimming. Probably the most upper-class, bourgeois-loving “sport” to exist. Firstly, who watches? Secondly, who cares?

BL: Men’s volleyball. Does anyone really watch it?

DK: Men’s and women’s volleyball. ‘Cause they suck. Cut them and give their funding to the varsity club teams. ‘Nough said.

MW: Volleyball. I’m basing my decision based on what’s best for the Carillon, and if you cut the hockey, basketball or football teams, we’d have simply an NHL section, rather than the sports section. Volleyball doesn’t talk to us in the first place. Bite me.

JL: Volleyball is the predictable answer, but I am going to choose the swimming team. Even with their current success, the team’s dynamic seems off. They can’t compete in the campus’ pool, they consistently have swimmers withdrawing from the program, and they don’t seem to be as much a part of the campus communities as the other squads.

  1. What type of new equipment would you like to see in the gym?

DK: Powerlifting equipment!!!!! So you can go workout and snatch, clean and jerk, and throw your weights down on the ground when you’re done and feel like a BOSS.
JL: Accessible stuff. Yes, the disability bias comes into play here, but we can’t claim to be an accessible campus if those of us who use wheels to get around can’t get our sweat on.

BL: An open bar. That’s equipment, right? They’re equipping students with free liquor.

MW: Preferably gym equipment that isn’t doused in the norovirus.

KF: Equipment that works out for me. I am viciously unmotivated.

  1. What’s your favourite sports book and why? 

JL: The Umpire Strikes Back by Ron Luciano, a former MLB caller of balls and strikes who wrote about hilarious stories in the minor and major leagues. Second place goes to Moneyball.

KF: Ozzy Osbourne’s autobiography. That man has put more strain on his body than any athlete ever. His existence is a sport within itself.

BL: Playing with Fire by Theo Fleury. It’s worth reading and shows the reality of mental illness and the effects pro sports has on a human being.

MW: Favourite sports book will always be Bill Simmons’ Big Book of Basketball. Many English professors here at the U of R can attest to this fact, as I try to bring it up in as many classes as possible. In one chapter, Simmons managed to combine basketball, with my all-time favourite movie, and movie villain in The Usual Suspects, and Keyser Söze. That’s real writing talent.

DK: I don’t have one… hmmmm… I read R.A. Dickey’s autobiography and really enjoyed it. I am no way condoning his pitching, because I personally think it falls flat. But, it’s cool to read a story about an athlete who’s gone through some tough crap and made it out alive.

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