Jonathan Petrychyn, Jhett Folk, Britton Gray, Colton Hordichuk
This week's roundtable
What was your favourite University of Regina team to watch this year?
Petrychyn: Starcraft League. Those guys know their video games. It is actually just like the NFL or the NHL, which is weird, because it’s basically just two dudes behind their computer screens with their fingers on their joysticks. Which, if you remember Autumn’s encounter with the Penguins, might not be too far off from how hockey or football is actually played.
Folk: To be honest, I have a tie. I really enjoyed both the football and basketball this year. Both teams had a lot of heart and determination, which I’m a big fan of.
Gray: The football team, and it’s for the simple reason that it’s my favourite sport to watch. There’s nothing like watching a great football game between a bunch of great players.
Hordichuk: Can I say the Weekend Warriors again? I didn’t make it to any games this year, but I heard through the grapevine that the volleyball team was pretty fun to watch during some kind of tournament or finals. Like I said, I didn’t go and see any, I just heard this from a friend of a friend of mine.
What drinking games did you play on St. Patrick’s Day?
Petrychyn: “Interview the artists.” So you get six artists in a circle in a gallery and talk to them one by one about their pieces. It’s like a drinking game of musical chairs, except there’s no drinking, no music, and no chairs.
Folk: Two words. Beer Pong. But, since I need around 50 words I'll say this: beer pong, beer pong, beer pong, beer pong, beer pong, beer pong, tetris, beer pong, and that’s about all.
Gray: Well, of course you have to play the classic game of beer pong. It’s a game that embodies all that makes sports great. Beaks, beers, and hardcore celebrations. Plus, it’s one of the few sports where getting drunk can actually help you get better at it.
Hordichuk: We played the “How Fast Can You Drink Whatever Is In This Cup?” game. Telling from the condition I’m in right now, I definitely won. I couldn’t even guess what was in the cup. Tequila, maybe? I’m really disappointed that I didn’t get my hands on any green beer, though.
Who is your pick to win March Madness?
Petrychyn: The Vancouver Grizzlies. Full stop. No one can beat that team. They might be the best team in the league, what with their basketballing, and their shoes, and their hoop things, and running, and synchronized shooting movements and trick shots.
Folk: My picks were Duke and Michigan and they both got upset, so it shows what I know. I think Kentucky would have to be my next pick.
Gray: Well, my heart bleeds orange, so I’m going to have to go with the Florida Gators. They can usually put out a competitive basketball team each year, and with some top teams already out, they better pounce on this opportunity. Of course, I wouldn’t be disappointed if the Tar Heels won it all.
Hordichuk: I don’t really watch NCAA basketball, but I remember as a kid I always liked Duke because their name was cool. So, based solely on the raw “epicness” of Duke’s name, they’re my pick to bring home the hardware this year.
If Sean Avery retires from hockey, how will he be remembered?
Petrychyn: With a montage of his best moves set to Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You,” the montage ends with a soft focus image of him looking optimistically upwards and to the right as a fluttering American flag moves in the background. The words “We’ll Miss you, Sean Avery!” then appear on the screen with a typewriter effect in red Comic Sans.
Folk: As a loser who screened Brodeur and got a rule made, just for losers like him. I don’t see him getting too much respect in the long run.
Gray: He will be remembered as the asshole the NHL needed. The NHL is the only real major North American sport without a real prick to fire things up and Avery was that guy. Guess we better get used to the generic “The team did great. It was a team effort” interviews.
Hordichuk: A hero. A man. An icon. An Olympic gold medalist. Sid the Kid. Wait – oh, you said “Sean Avery!” In that case, he’ll be remembered as the man who truly revolutionized the game of hockey in the worst way possible. He’ll forever live on in the heart of Martin Brodeur.
Will the Winnipeg Jets make the playoffs?
Petrychyn: BOOOOOO WINNIPEG SUCKS. (That’s the reaction I’m supposed to have, right? We hate Winnipeg in Saskatchewan, right? Please tell me if I’m doing it right. For the sake of my fragile ego, I need to be reassured that I do sports commentary right.)
Folk: I sure hope so! Imagine how difficult it would be for a first round team to step onto the ice in Winnipeg in the Jets first return to the playoffs! Yikes!
Gray: Yes. The way that city has rallied behind them, it goes to show how big of an impact the fans have. This is pretty much the same Atlanta team that didn’t get anything going and now they are on the verge of the playoffs.
Hordichuk: I absolutely love this question. I really want them and Calgary to squeak in there. Winnipeg is already buzzing with hockey fever, let alone playoff hockey. What a story that would be, eh? But now that I’ve kissed the Jets’ fans’ asses, I have to answer this question honestly, and I think that the Washington Capitals will claim the final spot and not Winnipeg.