Sports video games: the best way to straight-up lose three hours
Autumn McDowell, Sydney Campbell, Edward Dodd, Jonathan Petrychyn, Taylor Shire
This Week's Roundtable
What is your favourite sports video game?
Autumn McDowell: That’s a tough one. UFC Undisputed is definitely up there on my fav’s list. I tend to dominate at the quarterback challenge on Madden ’05. Don’t ask me why I haven’t updated it. Also, I want NHL ’12. Bad.
Sydney Campbell: Madden ’11. Go out and buy it. Since I can play as any team and win nearly every time it is a good game. But, if we add in Super Mario Brothers to the mix of sport video games, it would win hands down – mostly because it requires more skill and precision then any other sports game.
Edward Dodd: The best sports video game of all time was definitely NHL ’98. I mean, the fans in the stands were two-dimensional, the players looked like pink-coloured blobs with jerseys, and the announcer had only one line for each event that happened, but the gameplay was phenomenal on my N64.
Jonathan Petrychyn: I’m a fan of Mario Tennis. Or Dance Dance Revolution. I fucking own at DDR.
Taylor Shire: That’s easy. Blades of Steel. That game had by far the best celes and fighting in any NHL game to ever come out.
The NFL season is underway, who’s on your radar this year?
McDowell: The Vikings are on definitely on my radar. I have said it once and I’ll say it again: AP is unreal. Also, I will be keeping tabs on my boy Vick as he leads the dogs – I mean the Eagles – to the playoffs this year.
Campbell: Fuck football. Watch hockey. I mean really, are we a bunch of redneck Americans? No. Watch a league that really matters like the NHL; that’s some entertaining TV right there.
Dodd: No one is on my radar this year. I can’t stand NFL games and I really could care less about any American football team. I’ll take the CFL over the NFL any day.
Petrychyn: Are the Green Bay Packers still relevant? If so, they are. If not, it’s whatever team is from Albuquerque.
Shire: Da Bears. Da Bears, da Bears, da Bears, da Bears. But seriously, it’s hard to not pick the cheeseheads in Green Bay again this year in the NFC, and New England in the AFC is looking strong (as always). The Cowboys also look good, especially with Tony Romo. Isn’t it ironic that his cousin (twice removed) Tony Roma has a restaurant that serves delicious ribs? [I can’t verify this and now I’m hungry for ribs. –Ed.]
Who do you predict will be the NHL’s top scorer this season?
McDowell: I was going to say a witty remark about Steven Stamkos earning the Rocket Richard trophy this year, but after seeing Jon Petrychyn’s response to this question, I cannot compete with that, please see below.
Campbell: Substitute the word scorer in the question with team. And the answer is Boston Bruins. I personally don’t care about individual players. It all goes back to that, ‘There is no I in team’ shit. Go Boston.
Dodd: I’m betting on Ovechkin, mostly because Ovechkin and Crosby are the only two NHL people I know that are really good, and Crosby is out with his concussion so that leaves only Ovechkin. It certainly won’t be Ryan Smith or Phil Kessel.
Petrychyn: Sidney Crosby, mostly because I just want him to score on me.
Shire: Paul Bissonette, aka BizNasty2point0, is going to light the lamp a number of times this year strictly because of his ability to be such a beauty. But I’m gonna say Ovechkin, Perry, and Stamkos will all have good years again, with all three getting 50-plus genos.
Do you still have hopes that the Riders will make the playoffs this season?
McDowell: No. Next question.
Campbell: I’ve never really been a Rider fan. Actually I’ve never been a football fan. I mean if they’re are winning, great, but after they lost one game everyone is going nuts like they have no chance. But hey, I mean, who doesn’t love an underdog story?
Dodd: I really do. The defeat against B.C. was definitely a wakeup call. The Riders were on a three-game winning streak, they got cocky, and they played like shit. Now that they’ve been brought back down to earth, I think they have a chance to go undefeated for the rest of the year.
Petrychyn: No, I really don’t. I hope they don’t make the playoffs so I can stop seeing the Cult of Green everywhere sooner.
Shire: The Oakland Raiders are off to a decent start this year and there is a lot of football to go. Oh, wait a minute, the Riders? Not a chance in hell. Unless, hey, wait a minute, just crunching the numbers – nope, not gonna happen.
If you could bring back any former Saskatchewan Roughrider, dead or alive, to play for the remainder of the season, who would it be?
McDowell: Nealon Greene. Oh wait, we don’t seem to need any help losing, so bringing him back would be pointless. I’ll go with George Reed, if I can have him as he was in 1965. You can never go wrong with bringing in a powerhouse running back. It’s not that I despise Cates, but I mean given the choice between the Cates we have now and Reed in his prime, the choice is easy.
Campbell: Firstly, I think the most logical choice would be to bring back a good one. Why bring back one that sucks? Secondly, I don’t know any good Rider players.
Dodd: I’d bring back Luca Congi. I mean, he’s with the team and healing up, but I would like to see him actually kicking field goals in a game. It’s nice to have someone in that position that you can trust to kick it between the uprights every time.
Petrychyn: Matt Dominguez, because he has a really cute ass.
Shire: Nate Davis, Trevis Smith, and Shonte Peoples were all menaces for the Riders and they need some more personalities like those guys back. I’d take any one of them, unless I can get Rock and Roell Preston as a package deal.