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THE FAPS talk dirty

I think the real question is, "Why didn't they wear costumes?"
I think the real question is, “Why didn’t they wear costumes?”/Apolline Lucyk

What’s up with the name and why can’t we hear their weirdest tour story?

Article: Michael Chmielewski – Interim Editor-in-Chief

The Carillon sat down with a Saskatchewan band named THE FAPS to discuss music, touring, and great Halloween costumes.


1. Why the FAPS? Why that name?

 

Skyler Cafferata: Everyone asks this question!

Blair Colwell: Because it’s a word that is vulgar but only if you’re between the ages of 18 to 30 and are on the internet.  So, the people who are the demographic of the fanbase that we want to connect to, when they hear that name they want to check it out because it’s kind of vulgar. It’s like the band Holy Fuck, but we’re much more accessible because it’s not actually a swear word.

Skyler: It’s a bit more elusive.

Blair: It’s a lot more mysterious to the older people. So we don’t alienate any fans, but we don’t exactly invite a certain demographic either.

Skyler: If they don’t get it’s probably for the best, and if they do get it, then they laugh.

Blair: Yeah, and if they laugh and get it then they’re probably going to come to the show because they’re like “ha!” that means whacking it.

Skyler: There’s just the idea of self-pleasure and self-improvement.

Blair: What? How am I improving myself?

Skyler: Are you kidding me? If you never masturbated you’d be so shitty at stuff! You got to know your own body, in music and in sex.


2. You’re a pretty unique band; describe what people can expect from the FAPS.

 

Skyler: Sweat.

Blair: We don’t give a shoot.

Me: You can swear in The Carillon

Blair: Well we say fuck and shit like a million times, so we can tone it down. It’s everything that you wouldn’t hear at a Salvation Army-ran coffee shop in Vernon B.C.

Skyler: That’s way too obscure of a reference. No one will know what the hell that is.

Blair: Okay, well, it’s two people, and it’s got time changes, and it’s fast and it is aggressive and we want you to get up and move and have fun, or at least just laugh or giggle.


3. How long have you guys been together?

 

Blair: We’re not a couple [laughter]. We were in a band with Kate and our other Dylan in a band called Go Jeff for 3 years or so. We started in 2005 and put out an album in 2007 and toured a little bit.

Skyler: So we’ve been playing together since then.

Blair: So we know each other inside and out. I know you all too well.

Skyler: All too well. The Faps we started last summer, so it’s pretty much been exactly a year


4. I’ve seen you’ve toured Western Canada. Have you ever toured Eastern Canada or the U.S, or ever considered it?

 

Skyler: We’ve considered it

Blair: We want to do the East Coast, but Winnipeg is the shittiest city I’ve ever been to. Beyond that experience yesterday…

Skyler: We haven’t been everywhere there yet.

Blair: We just went to shitty Winnipeg once, and now I don’t want to go back anytime soon, but we will, but we’re probably going to dip though the states and go to Toronto because there’s like absolutely nothing from here to Toronto.

Skyler: We’d hope to hit both those places at the same time, especially because between Winnipeg and Toronto there’s this huge gap. We’ve learned from some bands recently that they dogleg to the states, play a bunch of places, and then come back out and make it to Montreal, because the scene is really good there. Hopefully next spring or summer.

Blair: We hope to get on some festivals in that area and that way tour down the coast. We had some people say maybe, then listen to us and say no way. Christian coffee shops.


5. Weirdest story from the road?

 

Blair: No we can’t! We have to swear secrecy on that one.

Skyler: What! Fuck fine. Well what other one is there?

Blair: We can tell some other ones.

Me: Is it that bad?

Blair: Oh yeah.

Skyler: It’s really bad.

Blair: There’s always an omen, of good luck!

Skyler: Yeah, that’s a good one! On the way to Calgary last weekend we were driving not even near a town or city. It was raining, and there’s a man on the right side of the road walking not with traffic, but towards us, straight up in a black cloak carrying something.

Blair: And we’ve seen them often.

Skyler: That’s not the only one, just the most recent one.

Blair: Every time we see them, the show is kick ass. Or in Saskatoon we dressed up for a costume party show that we played and we were human centipede survivors. We dressed in our underwear with shit and blood all over our mouths and asses.

Skyler: Nobody really got it.

Blair: But they were all thoroughly impressed.

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