Home / Sports / Top 5 replacement team names

Top 5 replacement team names

Here kitty, kitty, kitty./Photo by Tambako The Jaguar
Here kitty, kitty, kitty./Photo by Tambako The Jaguar

With a rebranding should come new nicknames

With the University of Regina’s athletes now cloaked in the almighty “swoosh” of Nike, it seems fitting to come up with a new name for the sports teams themselves.

First of all, enough with the Cougars and Rams being separate. These new monikers, which will undoubtedly be adopted by the U of R as soon as this article is brought to their attention, will apply to every team currently sporting the green and gold. To save the marketing department’s sanity, we have also included new slogans to accompany these revamped nicknames. We’ve even kept the fragmented three-period style, just so that the changeover is a copy and paste affair.

 

  1. D-Graders

Playing off of the LA Lakers’ D-League team, the D-fenders, but with an academic twist. Ignoring the Academic All-Canadians (kudos to them), this new name would pay homage to the grade many of the athletes receive during their studies. What could be more menacing as a logo than an angry Vianne Timmons shredding a diploma? Always a sucker for wordplay, I also like the fact that any of the athletes could degrade someone on the field of play.

Slogan: Trash talk. Terrible. Truthful.

 

  1. Bunnies

Because we seem to love animals so much. I mean really, this province boasts the Huskies, the Rams, the Cougars, and a gopher as its most well-known mascot. Rabbits seem to live on the Green in blissful happiness, and so they are an accurate representation of the campus environment: one that prides itself on surviving through harsh winters with minimal resources. From an attendance standpoint, this new moniker could be a gold mine. More people would show up just to pet the live bunny that would presumably become our mascot. More than currently attend, that’s for sure.

Slogan: Hopping. Flopping. Hoping.

 

  1. Clichés

What better way to train student-athletes than in the way of the cliché. As an added bonus, this idea comes with a logo suggestion: a giant speech bubble filled with letters typed in the wingdings font. Our secondary logo could be a giant podium.

Slogan: Team. Work. Hard.

  1. Maintenance Men/Maintenance Women

This one kills two thorns in the University’s side: they could funnel more money into the athletic programs, dollars they are always in need of, while also being able to tell the media that they have increased funding to their maintenance teams. See, win-win. This name also lends itself to those time-honoured clichés. “We just have to keep working, train hard, fix the problems, and maintain our composure.”

Slogan: Fix. Maintain. Sustain.

 

  1. Kittens

Cougars are meant to be fearsome. However, given the overall record of each of the school’s sports teams, a less powerful animal seems appropriate. Kittens could one day transform into Cougars – you know, if we ever win anything – and if not, the teams will at least be as scary as the logo that they wear on their chests. This is another nod to our love affair with animals, and a live kitten is better than a kinesiology major in a costume any day of the week. Go Kittens! Purr us to victory!

Slogan: Scratch. Purr. Lose.

About John Loeppky

I am an athlete with a writing problem, or a writer with a sports problem, you decide. When I’m not editing, playing wheelchair sports, or advocating for the disabled, you can find me de-stressing with friends.