UR guide to residence!
A quick guide to residence life
by John Loeppky – Contributor
We Interrupt Your Scheduled Programming….
Hello, this is your U of R residence . You could say UR about to be informed!
1. Lock your door:
I feel as if I should create a shirt that says “it’s all fun and games until someone steals your food or your flat screen.”
2. Socialize with your roommates or neighbours:
Ok, story time guys and girls, on my first day living in residence I wandered down to the food court. There was no one there, I’m pretty sure a tumbleweed almost got stuck in the spokes of my wheels. Anyway, I ordered chicken fingers from BYOB, waited the obligatory and slightly exaggerated waiting time of half a decade, and sat down. Now, did I pick one of the empty tables (of which there were plenty since there was only one other person in the food court)? No, I chose to sit with that person, because you don’t truly know someone until you’ve approached them awkwardly and asked to be their friend. Note: this is why my circle of friends is small and close nit. Only certain people can handle this method of social interaction. For those of you who are social butterflies and have the collegiate superpower of thousands of comrades, please write an article for The Carillon so that we can steal your secrets.
3. Talk to your RAs:
No one knows residence like the wonderful people who are such gluttons for punishment that they offer their services to the rest of us. Seriously, would you like to wake up at three o’clock in the morning to mediate a drunken argument between someone who cooked some one else’s mac and cheese and some one who ate the deliciousness in question, but wouldn’t have if he had known he was chowing down on his planned lunches for the week? On a related note, ramen and pop might sound like a good diet on day one, but by day 101 you – and your body – will be thinking otherwise.
4. Space where I am probably supposed to write a section about how we should all sit and sing “With a Little Help by My Friends.”
5. Don’t leave your windows open with the heating off.
This message has been brought to you by a Rezzy who dislikes evacuations, but loves a place where you can wear sweatpants all year round. Oh, and meet awesome people who you will either love or hate for the rest of your life. Now that UR informed, has anyone seen my pop? Are you still recording?Image: Emily Wright