Worst of Regina 2014

Talk about ambiguous pronoun reference.

Prairie Dog thinks there are good things about this city

In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot of things about Regina that are just kind of shit. Never one to let minor inconveniences go unnoticed, the staff of the Carillon has compiled all of their gripes into one place.

In what is an entirely oligarchical process, the staff has decided on those “special” things about the city that deserve a burning hot spotlight shone directly in their eyes. We would like to wish a warm congratulations to those businesses, people, and places that have the (dubious) honour of winning one of our Worst of Regina awards.

And to the Prairie Dog, to whom this feature is lovingly paying homage to: if this shit doesn’t win “Best Alt. Weekly of Regina” next year, you’re no better than we are. (Check out the Prairie Dog’s Best of Regina 2014 here).

Worst School: École Connaught Community School

Even after they tore it down, it’s still pretty bad. It sucked before, and had all the leftists up in a huff. Now that they put that thing to the sword, the world is a better place, the leftists have moved on to moaning and not doing anything about other issues, and over the ashes of the old world a new one will be created. –Michael Chmielewski

Worst way to get around: Transit.

U of R students are set to vote on a U-Pass at some point in the spring, and right in time. Transit fees for students are set to increase by 47% over the next three years. City transit officials cite an ephemeral need to keep funding up to the level of similarly-sized cities. Rather than make transit more and more difficult to use, the municipal government should make a concrete effort to make riding the bus more attractive rather than less. – John Kapp

Worst Study Spot: Ad-hum Pit

Having been forced to listen to TV programs hosted by Gordon Ramsey, I present to you a Hell’s Kitchen-inspired recipe for studying. Sit down in the Ad-hum pit, fill one of your eardrums with the cacophony of a minimum of fifty students all complaining about how much their professors expect of them, and fill your other ear with those students who are purchasing coffee and overpriced yogurt. Having assembled the ingredients, open your laptop, glance at your homework, give into your temptations, and voila: you now your desired creation: a journey into the desolate black hole that is YouTube. – John Loeppky

Worst “Best of Regina” Category: Best downtown pool table

Are you kidding me? This is collusion by the downtown liberal media to pump up their favoured establishments and bring down the competition. This is a classic case of the media elites of the Prairie Dog vs. The Cornwall Centre Smitty’s lounge. First, it’s “best downtown pool table,” next, it’s your human rights. WAKE UP SHEEPLE. – Neil Adams

Worst Coffee: Tim Hortons

Coffee: It’s a kick in the ass in the morning, afternoon, and for those all too common all-nighters. Many of us find ourselves turning to the Canadian icon that is Tim Hortons, which can be found in any corner of the city and twice on campus, its low cost sings sweet songs to our empty bank accounts. Too bad you are wasting your small change on what is basically slightly caffeinated dishwater. The espresso is a joke, the bagels and muffins are loaded with sugar, and the coffee is a weak medium blend at best, but still many willingly join massive lines for a

Damn staircase.

product quality matched by McDonald’s. Please, save a few more coins and go to a legitimate coffee house and support local businesses that care about quality. –Britin Cote

Worst staircase: 13^th Avenue Coffee House

There is only one thing that merits their placement on this list. They have the worst staircase in this city. Every time I walk out of there

(with the best dark roast in the city in my hand) I feel like I’m going to shuffle off this mortal fucking coil. The stairs bend so far, and it’s even worse in winter. Please, please, fix your stairs. – Michael Chmielewski

Worst University: University of Regina

This one is just too easy. – MC

Worst McDonald’s Location: Dewdney

Nothing makes me more hungry than fearing for my life every time I stop to grab a burger. Though its new renovations make you feel like you aren’t in the middle of a murder scene, when visiting the Dewdney McDonald’s, you are literally taking your life into your own hands, because you will, without a doubt, see 3-7 people that you are almost certain appeared on an episode of Cops earlier that day. that explains the police car always stationed in the parking lot. – Autumn McDowell

Worst Adult Store: The U of R Bookstore

I’ve been shopping, not by choice, at the U of R bookstore for years now, and I didn’t realize that they sold more than just overpriced textbooks. A really nice friend told me that they sold some items of the more, um, adult persuasion. Well, the toys they sold me didn’t really work out, and my partner left me, laughing in my face. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do with all those U of R coffee mugs. – Michael Chmielewski

This one is just too easy.

Democracy sure is one of those funny things. In this year’s Prairie Dog’s Best of Regina, good old Ragged Ass Barbers won for Best Hair Salon. Can you believe that this place wins Best Hair Salon when they essentially refuse service to half the world based on genitalia! It’s actually quite remarkable: no ethnic group or religion could be discriminated against in this way, but with women apparently anything goes. But, if you’re one of those angry bros in need of a haircut, this is a great place for you. Your haircut will look everyone else who goes there. – Michael Chmielewski

Worst Twitterer: Sask Retweeter

Who ever @saskretweeter is needs to get a life. This award could also be dubbed the worst troll ever. This guy just sits in front his laptop all day waiting for anything with #yqr to appear before retweeting it. @saskretweeter literally retweets anything with the #yqr hashtag. To see for yourself, tweet this; “First person to retweet this is an idiot! #yqr” – Arthur Ward

Worst Public Structure: The Buffalo Spine on Lewvan Drive

In an attempt to add more art to Regina and to welcome visitors flying in, our former mayor thought it would be a good idea to erect a structure at Lewvan Drive and Regina Avenue. I’m not sure what the artist was on when he designed this $200,000 turd. Did anyone take into account that not only is the sculpture of what is apparently a buffalo spine completely hideous, but putting highly reflective surfaces facing a major roadway is not exactly a smart idea?–Michelle Jones

Worst iPhone Game: Angry Birds

So, after roughly eight years of having an old cell phone, I finally joined the iPhone world this summer. Naturally, I was excited to have working text messages and a front-facing camera to take my selfie game to the next level, but most importantly I would finally get to try this infamous game of Angry Birds. But, to my surprise, Angry Birds was quite possibly the worst, least-addicting game that I have ever played on any type of platform. I played one round before I deleted the app for good. If you ever dressed up as a character from this game for Halloween, you should be ashamed of yourself.  – Autumn McDowell

Worst Expenditure: The Million-Dollar Sign

The U of R is falling apart, department budgets are being cut, and class choices are dwindling in any programs that don’t bring in research funds, but the administration swears they have their priorities straight. Instead of putting the money where it’s actually needed, the new million-dollar sign is a stark representation of the misspending this university is becoming known for. So, your laptop may get dripped on from the leak in the roof while you work on your paper, but you can rest easy knowing that the University of Regina has a cool new sign. –Michelle Jones

Worst Night Club: The Owl

There’s nothing worse than when a nightclub doesn’t know that they’re a nightclub. Earlier this semester, everyone’s favourite stop after class decided to close its doors for good… or at least on the weekends. What was once a first pumping, vodka special drinking, v-neck tshirt wearing bar is now nothing more than a restaurant. And a restaurant with a new menu, which is much worse than the old one, I might add. While I can’t make The Owl the packed club it once was, I think I speak for everyone when I say, bring back the old chicken fingers! RIP The Owl nightclub.  – Autumn McDowell

Worst City Council: Toronto City Council

The Regina City Council routinely gets blame for its cock-ups, but there is a worse one out there: Toronto City Council. This esteemed body could not plan a transit expansion to save their life and more importantly took their sweet time in removing that drug addict who took up the magistrate’s chair. Despite their large geographical distance from Regina, Toronto’s City Council is the Worst of Regina for one reason: it gave ours delusions of competence and respectability. – TM

Worst Pet in Regina: My Prairie Dog

I had this pet prairie dog once. I named it Stephen. Everyone loved Stephen; Stephen only loved snakes. When Stephen became aware of how much everyone loved him, he became super pretentious and douchey. He died when a snake ate him. I fucking hate Stephen. – Kyle Leitch