A roof by any other name
Do you really want people choosing the names for these residences?
Authors: The Staff, For Better and Worse
The University of Regina has recently announced that it will have a naming contest for its new residences. We here at the Carillon won’t be around to actually see these erected. However, we still wish to contribute our rapier wits and our sophisticated humour to this enterprise. Therefore, as a parting gift to our alma mater, we give the University our entries for the new residence’s name. Enjoy, and farewell!
The Parker’s Downfall
The Other Expensive Status Symbol
Piss Bottle Offsale
Timmons’ Folly/ Chase’s Downfall
Gulag by Chartwells
Residence 1 and 2
Pamela Wallin’s Honorary Dormitory
Even Newer Residences
Flood Life Vol. 1: A Flood of New Experiences (ft. Snoop Dogg)
Hookers / Blow
Towers of Babble
Wall’s Austere Apartments
In addition to the names, we also have some snappy slogans to capture the new residence lifestyle.
Come for the fees, stay for the debt!
We, like, spent several shiny signs’ worth to house you. Be grateful!
Ten Times as Fast as Capital Pointe
No URSU Candidate will want to go here!
Just the encouragement you need to finish your degree!
And you thought Mount Doom was bad
We fuck you good, we fuck you right, and we fuck you tight!
You might experience the first ever pipe burst this year!
The Horror…The Horror
Give those Campion professors a show.