Leak of the week
… Because shame leads to change.
As part of our ongoing efforts to highlight the crumbling infrastructure at the University of Regina, the Carillon proudly presents the twelfth part of our Leak of the Week feature, in which we bring you the vital stats on the different failing roofs around campus.
Location: This leak can be found in the middle of the main hallway of Campion College, an area with one of the highest levels of foot traffic on campus. This basically guarantees at least a handful of serious slips, and probably a concussion or two just in time for finals.
Nickname(s): “Unholy Water,” “Effluo Sabbati”
Apparatus: In keeping with the U of R’s minimalist policies, the apparatus surrounding this leak is minimal, yet elegant. Six ceiling tiles have been removed, and a simple bucket has been placed beneath, allowing the dripping to be audible at a great distance. In order to keep the thousands of students traversing the hallway from slipping over the bucket and breaking their goddamned necks, two signs have been placed on either side, achieving perfect aesthetic symmetry.
Capacity: Five gallons
Number of people working on it: None.
Age: Two weeks (and going strong)
Current status: Shameful.
Has it been fixed yet: No.
Impact on students: This leak, being right in the middle of the hallway, actually serves as a kind of meridian, separating the two directions of traffic fairly nicely. I would actually suggest that the University study its impact on traffic flow before repairing it. Just joking of course – they’re not going to repair it.
Student/Staff comment(s): “We at Campion have always made the best of things, so we’ve been holding baptisms here to save on our water bills. The stuff is as expensive as wine these days.”
“Those heretics over at Luther are never going to let us hear the end of this.”
If you know of any leaks on campus, or other examples of failing infrastructure that the University should be ashamed of, please contact email@example.com.