Monday Morning Art Show: Vampires and Werewolves and Babies, oh my!

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Yeah, I know. Twilight is barely art. It’s barely anything, really, except for a cliché-ridden teenage love fest filled with an abundance of shirtless boys and whiny teenage girls. I’ll be honest with you: I only watch Twilight for the shirtless boys. Does this make any better than the teenage girls who watch it for the plot? Probably not, but I don’t care. Taylor Lautner is too pretty to pass up shirtless.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably notice the lack of shirtless boys in the trailer. Presumably this is because this a less werewolf-centric film and more vampire-centric film, but you would think that Bill Condon, the genius behind Dreamgirls and the writer of Chicago would amp up the queer subtext. Come on, that tent scene in New Moon? Totally a queer subtext there. You know that Edward and Jacob would be getting it on if Bella wasn’t around.

Anyway, if the trailer is an indicator of anything, is that Breaking Dawn will be much better shot than its predecessors. This will be the only thing saving it, as the trailer quickly devolves into a hospital room drama where Bella struggles with the half-vampire, half-human baby fetus that is rapidly growing inside her uterus. If you’re not gonna go see the film for the shirtless boys, go see it to watch Bella have her abdomen ripped apart by a mutant fetus, Alien chestbuster-style. 

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