Sports Roundtable

0
579

Braden Dupuis, Paige Kreutzwieser, Autumn McDowell, Ed Dodd

Which U of R sports team do you think will have the best 2013 season?

Dupuis: It doesn’t matter in the end, as long as they all go out there, give it their all and have fun doing it, right? Isn’t that what sports are all about? Teamwork and sportsmanship and shaking hands and being the best you that you can be? Go Cougars.

Kreutzwieser: The ladies basketball team is my choice. When you have the U of R’s most intense fan, James Pitsula, screaming on the sidelines, I don’t know how that wouldn’t motivate you to win. And now that I’m aware they sell beer at the games, I might become the second most intense fan.

McDowell: Everyone is going to say the women’s basketball team because we are hosting nationals and they are riding a nine-game winning streak, but I can’t pick them until they prove they won’t choke in big games. I think my choice will be the women’s hockey team, who has yet to even prove to me they can make the playoffs, but, this is their year – hopefully no one gets horribly injured – knock on wood.

Dodd: My best guess is the women’s curling team. They seem to dominate every year.

Which pro athlete should receive coal for Christmas this year?

Dupuis: None of them. They’re all top-notch in my books. They work so hard to entertain us, and in the end, who are we to judge them on or off their designated playing areas? I think for Christmas this year, we should all get together and sing carols advocating for raises for our favorite athletes. Who’s with me?

Kreutzwieser: Ryan Lochte. Replace his stupid “grillz” he tries to pull off with coal. Maybe along with the coal he could get a book on how to not be so stupid. God he’s stupid. Cute, but stupid.

McDowell: Let’s see, who are my most hated athletes of 2012? Well, obviously Chris Getzlaf will receive a big fat lump of coal in his stocking, I’d toss it to him but there’s no chance he would catch it under pressure. Also, I’m tempted to give Darian Durant a small piece because may I just say that he is a way different person on TV than he is at a house party – asshole. Also, every member of the Canucks will be getting coal. There isn’t even hockey, but everyone still hates them, and that says a lot.

Dodd: The skip of the men’s curling team. I don’t know who it is, but I am super jealous that he’s probably better at curling than me.

Do you think Team Canada will dominate the World Juniors like they did during the last lockout?

Dupuis: All this talk about domination is giving me a case of the Christmas blues. While winning is nice, all I really hope is that our boys go out there and have fun. In the end, that’s what really matters, right? Harboring good international relations through friendly competition.

Kreutzwieser: I’ll go with a yes. How ironic it is that my New Years resolution was to watch this year’s hockey this season?

McDowell: I don’t think that they will be quite as dominant as 2005, because that team had a borderline insane level of talent, but they this team will still be unreal. If Ryan Nugent-Hopkins can stay healthy for that week we will be in good shape. Might as well start planning the victory celebrations now.

Dodd: If by “World Juniors” you mean “World Juniors of Curling,” then I would say the lockout doesn’t have much to do with it, but Canada always dominates at curling.

If you had to cast pro athletes as characters in your favourite Christmas movie, who would play the lead role?

Dupuis: OJ Simpson is Scott Calvin, an ordinary man who accidentally murders Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. When he and his son, Charlie (Jaden Smith), finish St. Nick’s trip and deliveries, they go to the North Pole where OJ learns he must become the new Santa and convince those he loves that he is indeed Father Christmas, and also totally not a murderer.

Kreutzwieser: I’d cast Ricky Williams and Michael Phelps in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas. Maybe toss in Tim Lincecum somehow. It’d be great.

McDowell: Oh boy, well if I were to do a sports remake of The Grinch, there’s only one person that would fit the bill to play that skinny, heartless, monster: Gary Bettman. I realize he’s nowhere close to being a pro athlete, but get off my back everyone. Then, I would have Donald Fehr as the little dog, Max, to which he gets repeatedly and mercilessly whipped by the Grinch (Bettman). Do you see what I’m getting at with this? Finally, Sidney Crosby can play Cindy Lou Who because he has been the most vocal about questioning the Grinch while he’s been trying to ruin hockey season – Jesus, why don’t I write a longer answer?

Dodd: I would definitely cast Thomas Ulsrud as “Mr. Bright-Pants”, in the Christmas movie “The Norwegian National Curling Team Saves Santa”, a film of my own creation.

You just received a jersey for Christmas, who’s name do you pray isn’t on the back?

Dupuis: I’m just grateful that someone thought enough about me to buy me such a nice jersey. It fits perfectly, how did you guess my size? I think instead of singling out any one athlete, I’ll just get the word ‘sportsmanship’ on the back. That way, nobody feels left out.

Kreutzwieser: I’d love a Fitzpatrick jersey. I’d wear it everyday, sleep in it, most likely shower in it. However, my Christmas list includes a deep freezer and socks. Unfortunately, a Bills jersey won’t help me keep my food frozen and toes warm.

McDowell: Last year, all I wanted was the baby blue Pittsburgh Penguins Sidney Crosby jersey, but I was terrified that my mom might accidentally get me a black Malkin jersey by mistake. Thankfully, my mom is awesome and I got the one I wanted. God forbid I would have opened up a Chris Pronger or Jeremy Roenick jersey, that thing would be headed straight for the fire place.

Dodd: I am praying that Maurice “The Rocket" Richard is not on the back, because if I learned anything from my childhood reading The Hockey Sweater, it’s that everyone is wearing Richard jerseys and I don’t want to conform to what third graders in 1942 wore.

Photo courtesy Reuters/Laszlo Balogh

Comments are closed.

More News