Sports roundtable – Mar. 29, 2012

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Duncan Keith gave an elbow, and got five games. The NHL is giving like that.

Autumn McDowell, Jhett Folk, Colton Hordichuk, Peter Mills
This week's roundtable

Who deserves the U of R coach of the year award?

McDowell: Well, the most obvious choice is Dave Taylor, even though it is not like he was even named the CIS coach of the year or anything – oh wait, he was. However, some of us don’t like to name the blatantly obvious choice. So, I am going to say that Bruce McCannel was the U of R’s coach of the year; he was also probably the best coach to interview because he could accurately answer questions about his own team and could speak in full sentences.

Folk: That’s easy. Britton Gray. I mean, look at the guy. He’s a regular hero. Easily the top life-coach on the planet. Too bad he can’t shoot a three …

Hordichuk: Is it weird that I have a reasonable answer to a U of R question that’s not in any way, shape, or form in reference to the Weekend Warriors? Dave Taylor deserves the hardware. A 35-2 overall record speaks for itself.

Mills: Dave Taylor, obviously. The team underachieved in the playoffs, but had one the best regular seasons in the history of the game. This isn’t even a question.

What did you think about Duncan Keith getting a five-game suspension for his hit on Daniel Sedin?

McDowell: Oh boy. Honestly, I was pretty pumped up when Keith dummied Sedin. Even though he didn’t destroy him as much as I would have liked, at least it was something. I find it kind of funny that one little elbow to the jaw and Daniel is crying – something I would expect from a Sedin sister, really.

Folk: It was one of the most idiotic hits I have seen in a while. I thought five games wasn’t a long enough suspension for that blatant attempt to injure. Hockey doesn’t need that shit.

Hordichuk: Here’s how it should have gone: Daniel Sedin should have gotten a penalty and a 2-3 game suspension for his shoulder to the head hit on Keith, and Keith absolutely deserved his five-game suspension. Plus, I feel Keith deserved to get a major during the game for it, also.

Mills: Daniel Sedin is pimp. All ya’ll haters can hate, but that shit was whack. They should kick Keith out of the league.

Graham James was sentenced to two years in prison for sexually abusing two of his players. Thoughts?

McDowell: It’s utterly disgusting and any moron that barely has anything to say about it is officially hated by me … Anyway, were they being serious? I mean, they actually gave this monster the same sentence as a football player that shot himself in the foot. He shot himself, himself! By accident! This bumbling fool traumatized and scarred multiple people for years; giving them the same sentence makes perfect sense. Not.

Folk: Two years in prison with Bubba and Joe as cellmates for now. Then, for optimists like me, he gets to have an eternity of Hitler and Satan shoving pineapples up his ass.

Hordichuk: I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. Two years? What a complete joke.  I’ve found myself continuously shaking my head at this whole thing. I’m literally lost for words on this topic. I feel horrible for Theoren Fleury. He’s gone through so much and I feel he was cheated with this sentence.

Mills: Thoughts? I feel bad for the victims. What else can you say?

Will the Regina Pats beat the Moose Jaw Warriors in the first round of the Western Hockey League playoffs?

McDowell: Maybe I should give a typical athlete answer and say, “well if they put in a team effort, anything is possible. If they are in the game, they have a chance to win. If they play as a team, they have a good chance.” HA, yeah except that is not how I roll. I hope they k-rush the Warriors and embarrass them back to days of the crushed can. I also hope there is at least one or two fights during which the Pats dummy any member(s) of the Warriors.

Folk: In the crazy game of hockey, anything is possible. I like their chances though, after walking into Moose Jaw the other night and snagging the ‘W.’

Hordichuk: Yes they will, and I’m saying this strictly based on being a citizen and a contributing community member of Regina. I was actually surprised at their effort in game one in Moose Jaw the other night. Now lets skip ahead to Saturday night’s 8-1 shellacking by the Warriors. Like what the hell? Did the Pats practice with the Toronto Maple Leafs before Saturday’s game? Shit.

Mills: Fuck no. The Warriors are going to pump the Pats en route to a WHL title. Oh look, the Blades are losing.

What do you think about the Jets acquiring Tim Tebow?

McDowell: Well, it was pretty obvious that Tebow wasn’t going to stay with the Broncos once they picked up Manning. I am sure that it was hard to see him go because Denver was so hell bent on kissing Tebow’s God-loving ass every chance they got. It’s a good move for the Jets, they have a sick backup in Tebow. I don’t know, good call, kids.

Folk: I think it’s a very cute publicity stunt to try to get people to forget that the Jets live in the same place as the current Super Bowl champions.

Hordichuk: Now I think this whole Tebow thing is awesome. I mean, what’s better than a quarterback who somehow wins games with terrible statistics? He’s the ultimate sports troll. Rex Ryan and Tim Tebow are going to become the next Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. You know, just without that whole ‘talent’ thing.

Mills: Maybe New York will support an overrated, baby-eyed, anti-abortionist quarterback more than Mark Sanchez. Personally, I’ll take Sanchez, which says a lot about Tebow. In all fairness, he does seem like a nice gent. I just hate the Florida Gators. Speaking of college basketball, where the fuck is March Madness in the Carillon? What a joke. Thank you.

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