What the puck? – Rules are rules
The NHL implements some ridiculous changes
In light of the NHL’s newly enforced rule changes, I have decided to brief you on these partially serious, mostly ridiculous rules.
First, for the serious and, albeit, actual rules that are now in effect. The NHL has recently instituted what can essentially be called the “anti-Ovechkin” rule – the stupidest rule in the NHL, ever, will also do quite nicely.
No, you can still wildly bounce into the boards upon a goal celebration, and you can even put your stick on the ice and fake it being on fire, hell you can even start a brawl with anyone on the opposing team and proceed to pull their jersey over their face, rendering them helpless; what you cannot do is tuck in your own jersey.
How this rule was even brought up and agreed upon by multiple people is mind-boggling.
Washington Capitals captain Alexander Ovechkin is famous for tucking in his jersey at the back of his pants, most of the time it just happens while he is skating, I don’t think that he specifically takes the time to make sure his jersey is perfectly tucked into his jock strap before every game, but how would I know?
Former superstar Wayne Gretzky, on the other hand, had his velcroed in place, a style that I remember copying as a small child at the outdoor rink. But, either way, it’s not allowed. You can hammer someone into the boards as hard as you want, but God forbid you tuck that jersey in.
The rule change came about because team general managers believed that a player could suffer an injury if too much of their body was exposed. Evidently, untucking their jersey is now a cure for concussions.
The idea that an opposing team could get a penalty because of a tucked in jersey is more than a little bit ridiculous to me. Guaranteed those yellow laces will be the next thing to go, surely they could cause some sort of injury. This is hockey, people, not golf.
Besides Ovechkin, it appears the goaltenders have been the ones most affected by the rule changes. The NHL has finally implemented the rule that goalies must use smaller pads, and thank God, those things were getting God damn huge. This change was made so that the goalies will have a more difficult time blocking the five hole, which translates to more goals and, in general, a more exciting game.
The goaltender’s net has also been made to be shallower. This is to allow for more mobility behind the net, and should aid in speeding up the game.
To add to the smaller goalie pads, and shallower nets, I think that the nets need to be enlarged, just slightly, also to aid in the goal-getting process. Every fan loves a high-scoring affair between two teams. I don’t think that any hockey fan goes to a game hoping desperately for a 1-0 finish, with the game-winning goal coming in the first period.
Now, if they can only implement policies that allow for free popcorn and booze at games, ticket prices that aren’t sky high, and finally putting my face on the kiss cam, we’ll be in business.