Which U of R building are you doomed to haunt?
Reveal your student tendencies to learn your fate
Imagine there is a version of the afterlife where the realm you stay in forever is based on what type of jerk you were in university specifically. I am bold enough to bring such a vision to life, for some reason. Answer these questions, and I will reveal to you where you will be tormented forever:
- You notice that someone in your class makes a mistake on an assignment they haven’t handed in yet. Also, you don’t know them personally.
- I don’t say anything – I barely understood the assignment so who knows if I did it right.
- I correct them politely in the moment and laugh about it later with friends.
- I point out their mistake and explain where they went wrong; hopefully, that helps them in the future.
- I’d probably notice for a second but forget before I could say anything.
- I’m not going to do anything. Just too much effort, you know?
- How would you honestly describe your role and habits in group projects?
- There are always people smarter than me in the group. I let them handle most of it and I’ll make the PowerPoint or something, but we’re not hanging out.
- I’ll do my fair share while complaining to others about my group members. If there’s tension, I’m the first to say something.
- I take initiative to decide on a topic and presentation style right away. Someone needs to lead, and this way I know we’ll get a grade I want.
- Shit, we have a group project? Uhh here’s two slides for the presentation, just saw this text last night.
- I am here to do the absolute bare minimum; if no one gives me direct instructions I probably won’t even contribute.
- You’re sitting through a boring lecture and don’t want to take notes. How do you pass the time?
- I either talking to my friends in class, texting them, or shopping online.
- I text my friends specifically about how much I hate this lecture, and how annoying some of the people in the class are.
- I do pay some attention so I’ll hear if someone asks a stupid question and can chime in. If I don’t, who will?
- I either doodle or stare into space; either way I’m paying so little attention it surprises me when class ends.
- If I’m not interested, I’m not there – let’s be real.
- Where and how do you work on assignments on campus?
- Anywhere my friends and I can hang out, order food, and keep each other focused (AKA goof off) for hours.
- A room in the library with my friends where we might study, or we might just gossip for a few hours.
- On my own in a place I can concentrate, but if I overhear a conversation, I’ll probably chime in.
- A coffee shop where I can sit down with a drink, finish my drink, get something to eat, forget why I came, and maybe write one sentence.
- I’ll be finishing this assignment in my seat in class an hour before it’s due; don’t pretend you expected anything different.
- What part of academic life do you clash with most?
- The academic part – really wish I didn’t have to cut back on social time to study.
- The scheduling differences – it’s like my friends are never free when I am.
- The self-proclaimed geniuses – you know, those people who completely miss the point of a reading or course concept and spread their misunderstandings like gospel.
- The overload – there’s just too many things to keep track of, and I wish I didn’t need three planners to keep on top of life.
- Anything other than taking naps is done against my will.
Mostly a: You must spend eternity in the KIN BUILDING for the crime of being COOL BUT ANNOYING. You have a lot of friends and probably are actually going to have a stable job when you graduate in business or something, but could you have the decency to be a little miserable? In the Kin building, you will be surrounded by athletes who are carefree like you were, but you will be unable as a ghost to join in their shenanigans. Slowly, your zest for life will dull until you’re as sober as someone who studies gothic literature. Serves you right.
Mostly b: You must haunt the RIDDELL CENTRE for EXCESSIVE TEA-SIPPING. You might be doing okay in school, but you live for the drama of the college years too much. It is not that exciting. You tell your friends about all the embarrassing things your teachers and classmates do, but as a ghost, you will forever hear proverbial tea that you cannot truly sip. Others will be sippin’ sweetly as they walk right through you.
Mostly c: You are doomed to the AD HUM PIT for the sin of MANSPLAINING. If you are not a man and you got this result, your stay will be slightly more bearable, but what you do is still irritating. You spent your university years basically being a know-it-all; you don’t need to be the voice of facts all the time. In the Ad Hum Pit you will eternally hear men explain things to people doing their homework, and they will do it badly. You will be forever unable to tell them to stop talking, making you realize what it is like when you do that. Let that sink in.
Mostly d: You dwell forever in the CLASSROOM BUILDING STAIRCASE for NOT GETTING YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. It is possible if you got this result that you just have ADHD. It does not matter though, because just like our education system, this imaginary version of the afterlife is also pretty ableist. You will wander this staircase, eternally unable to remember the number of the classroom you were supposed to go to. The floors will become a labyrinth, making you rue the days you never got your shit together.
Mostly e: You are exiled after death to the GREEN because you GENERALLY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT. This is honestly very understandable, but because there are so many people who do give a shit (perhaps too much of a shit), it seems unfair that you don’t. This is a reminder of the times you skipped class and avoided your responsibilities. You may never enter the campus and, as a result, will miss out on all the opportunities that come with giving a shit.